WHAT DID MY TRANSFORMATION LOOK LIKE?

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS

BEFORE

I was on my fifth year of studying the bible, but rarely really prayed. Heavy prayers were in my heart, but I was taught I was in control of my own life and responsible for making it work. I felt God wasn’t there.

DURING

A neck injury, followed by divorce left me feeling even more abandoned by God, and my attempts to navigate the world on my own proved disastrous. I slowly began to understand the need to let go of control and began practicing trust in God on a deeper level. Good days began to show up, but setbacks were still common.

NOW

Every morning, I wake early enough to spend an hour with God, to sit quietly, to pray, to reflect on where I am with him and in my life and to plan my day. The pain of my past has greatly softened, my gratitude is abundant and peace for where I am today is priceless.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF

BEFORE

I was aware of my inner compass that wanted to point North, but I felt I had no say in the direction of my life. I didn’t even know how to identify my own love language, of which I learned later I have several.

DURING

I was a bit reckless in my newfound freedom of not being tethered to the demands of others. I made lots of mistakes trying to find my sense of self. And with being slow to heal, my awareness for my need to love myself enough to not settle for less than what God would want for me grew stronger.

NOW

My sense of self-worth is much stronger and more positive and the self-doubts that come for a visit are no longer a challenge to chase away. I feel more at peace with who I am and am more mindful about what I give of myself to others.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY

BEFORE

For years, my husband’s lack of interest in intimacy or a close relationship made me feel shame for my body. I cried myself to sleep for years confused by his neglect. I focused on other things and ran myself ragged and took care of my physical needs last. What my body needed was often met with thoughts of, “What’s the point?”.

DURING

I felt convicted for not taking better care of my body and I became determined to get my health back. I was scared I couldn’t do it and it was painful and hard and slow. I had to summon stubborn determination to work through the setbacks and gave myself grace for the bad days I couldn’t work at it at all. I cried a lot…..

NOW

I have a much healthier mindset about my body and keep it in shape by eating healthy, staying hydrated, getting lots of sleep, dance lessons for fun, and meeting friends at the gym every week. And though my neck still has some issues I listen to what my body needs, so I feel my best every day. My efforts have made me feel better than ever.